American Express: life is better without it

I am rarely angry. Is this because I tend towards sainthood? No, it is because I am essentially lazy. Anger takes too much energy. It’s also partly because I’ve had enough grievous things in my life that I’m well aware of what is worth getting upset over and what just….isn’t.

All this being said I am now going to rant. Against whom, you ask? American Express. The card that I am DEFINITELY going to leave home without.

The girl needs braces. Six thousand dollars worth of them to be exact. The brilliant plan for paying for this was to get a credit card that is used solely for paying the orthodontist. Then I submit my claim and put it right on the card. Sadly, the plan here doesn’t cover the entire cost but I hope to be able to pay what it doesn’t.

Being an Air Miles collector, I decided to get a card that gave me air miles. The Air Miles site has a link for that (American Express) so I went for it and in due time I got the card. This morning was the big day…braces for my baby. I went to pay ($800.00 upfront!), only to be told that they only accept Visa and Mastercard. There is no sign anywhere in the office that this was the case. So yes, I was a little bit irritated with them. That irritation, though, was nothing compared to what happened next.

I left the girl there, and went to get a cash advance. I went to my own bank even though the card was not issued by them. I have to ability to pay my American Express through the bank, though, so I thought I could somehow arrange to transfer money from American Express into my bank account so that I could pay today’s fee.

Unfortunately, that couldn’t happen. What we did find out was that if I could get a pin number from A.E., then I could use an automatic teller for a cash advance. Fine, I thought, I’ll do that. My bank – with whom I have no complaint – lent me a phone and a quiet office. So I phoned the 1-800 number on the back of the card. Only to find out that I am NOT ALLOWED a pin number. Why?

Because I have to use the card and have three statements from them (which translates to three months) before I can get a pin number to get a cash advance. They have to be sure it is me getting the money. Did you follow that? I can buy a $500.00 television with A.E., but I can’t get $500.00 cash. I explained that the only thing I wanted the card for was to get cash to pay the orthodontist. I very patiently explained that unless I could get cash, I wouldn’t be using the card, and consequently would have no statements. I was then told that I had to go buy things using A.E., pay the amount and get a statement. And that I would have to do this for three months at which point I would be allowed to get a pin number and the apparently Holy Grail of cash advances.

I tried explaining again that the card was useless without the ability to get a cash advance, and she…well, she agreed with me. So when I got to work this morning I phoned A.E. and cancelled my card. And made it very clear to the help line person the reason for doing so. This afternoon I will be going to Bank of Montreal, and applying for a Mosaik Master Card.

There. Mini-rant over. This is NOT how I wanted to start my week!