Not Smoking. And NOT the boys room.

There I was, minding my own business doing what one does in the bathroom when there is a knock at the door, the squeak of the door hinge and a GUY"S voice saying "hello?"

Good grief. What does one say? C'mon in and light a shuck? "Occupado? What the hell do you want? I mean, I like to be left in peace. I hate it when women talk in the bathroom but I have to say this is worse.

He's off sick today.

So there I am on the desk - or to be exact, at the desk - when the phone rings. Given that I'm being paid to do a number of things including answering the phone if it rings, I dutifully pick it up:

Government Department X, Jane Doe speaking.
Uh, hi. I'm looking for death.


So many things I wanted to say, not one of them appropriate. I'm counting it as a big plus that I didn't even laugh, let alone offer a snippet of witty reparte. This time.

I don't know, are monkies linen?

My most favourite question from a food site I go to:
Are eggs meat?