One door, that's it.

Oooo I hate having man trouble. Wait, that is sexist. Home repair trouble. Where do people learn stuff about fixing up homes? Their parents? Environment? Or, as I tend to do, find a book in a library? Why do the guys I know just KNOW this stuff?

All I want to do is buy a screen door for the front door. How hard can this be? Well the first thing I find out is that doors aren’t a standard size. Why not? They should be, like stairs inside there should be one standard size. So fine, there isn’t a standard size, I guess I’ll have to measure something. The inside of the door? The size of the door we have? Inside the frame, or outside? I had a storm door before and obviously made a poor choice then. Oh, it worked all right, it just opened in a direction that everyone and his brother decided to tell me was the wrong way. Lord save me from a life so narrow the way a door opens is of paramount importance.

No, I’m not asking for help. But I’m frustrated, so I’m temporarily giving up. Think I’ll turn my hair blue instead. Which seems to be par for the course for me: get frustrated, change the hair. I thought I’d try blue since it is all getting cut off soon anyway.

To thine own geek be true

I am such a geek, but really, the show was amazing. I stayed up late last night watching NOVA: Mystery of the Megaflood. I can't decide if I should reccomend that you watch it - risking you spending an hour thinking "what a bore of a show, what a geek of a person" or tell you not to watch it should it play again, risking deterring you from watching this totally cool show. I'll leave it up to you Just keep in mind that I have never been - and never will be- the hippest kid in the class.

Mind Surfing

As I sit here at work, no work in sight (see previous job related posts), I find myself thinking strange things:

1. If every one could read everyone else's mind, it would eventually mean the end of mankind. Lots of murders, and in the end no one would ever manage to be in a relationship long enough to have kids. In time we as a people would just die out. Those who hadn't been killed, or who weren't driven to suicide from having to listen to the thoughts of others that is.

2. Would bathing in chocolate be a good idea, or a bad one? So many things to think about here. How hot would it need to be to be comfortable? Straight chocolate, or chocolate melted with cream? (This whole thing occurred to me as I was stirring shaved dark chocolate into hot cream to make ganache). Milk chocolate? Dark? How big is the bathtub, how much chocolate would you need? How would you keep it warm? Wouldn't your hair get all gross and sticky? Would there be any benefit at all beyond the possibility that it might feel really cool? ( In the hip sense of the word, not the temperature sense). Good for your skin, or just fun?

3. If I were to keep track of how far I trudge/jog/walk on the treadmill, how long would it take me to cross the province? The country? How about the world? How many kilometres around is the earth at the equator?

4. If I could rob a bank with a guarantee that I would never be caught, would I do it? Or would the intrinsic wrongness of it hold me back?

5. If voodoo worked, who would I make a doll of just for the humour of making them walk funny?

6. I have friends, and in their family there are three sisters. Why are all three of them good looking? I mean, that doesn't seem statistically correct. Or fair, really. Maybe it would make sense if your parents are supermodels, or something, but in everyday life, how often does this happen?

7. Is the above influenced by being the homely one in a family of beauties? Oops, sorry, not homely, apparently plain would be a better choice of words. According to a friend. Ah, the honesty of friends, there's nothing like it!

8. What is the point of coming up with some clever bon mot if no one gets it?

9. Why can't I wear my hair as just plain hair?

10. What would you rather do, fly like a bird or swim like a dolphin?

11. If you could have one magic power, what would it be?

A rock is a hard place.

When I start the new job (that could be the 21st- or not, given how things work around here), I am planning on biking to work. Good for me, good for the planet, good for the pocketbook.

I got a head start on this by biking in the evenings after supper this week. Last night M. and I went to Rogers, to look for a movie and drop off some cookies. We didn’t find a movie we could agree on (no surprise there!), so we went from there to L. & B.s place. They have lots of movies to choose from, but no luck there either, so we biked home.

Now here’s my gripe: surely to heaven, all things considered, you’d think that I’d have more than enough padding to make the piece of Canadian Shield that serves as my bicycle seat comfortable. Wrong. WRONG WRONG WRONG. That trip was about the death of me. Or the end of ever sitting down again.

If I still intend to bike to work – and I do – my ass is going to have to learn to take more punishment (oh simmer down, you know what I mean), or I’m going to have to buy some sort of sissy seat cushion. Drat.

And maybe a winning lottery number too.

I reached a crisis point in my life yesterday, and I need to fix it. So I'm building a time machine and going back to undo something. Of course, if I undo it, then perhaps I won't have a crisis point. Which means I won't need to build a time travel machine. So I won't go back. Which means it won't get undone. So I will have a crisis, so I'll have to build a time travel device....ack. At any rate, if I can blog I will, but I figure the building and travelling should take three weeks, so you'll just have to live with a lack of posts.

Oh My Girl.

I love my kids. I love the board game playing one on one. I love World Wide Wednesdays, when they choose a country and sample the cuisine of the culture. My little international sous-chefs! Part of the deal is learning a bit about their country of choice and sharing it over supper. We've added some recipes to out family favourites. A's Spanish Shrimp and M's Hawaiian Honey Chicken being two that appear on a semi-regular basis. I love the book reading, hot chocolate/tea/steamer in hand, reading favourite lines out loud. I love seeing them get hooked on an author that I've introduced them to. A is on his fouth book in Orson Scott Card's Enders series. I love playing badminton in the park until it's too dark to see the birdie. I even enjoyed it on the weekend when the park was soggy as well as dark!

So, my girl. Which is the whole point of the post. To get things in perspective, this is the girl who read the Hobbit in Grade 2. While her friends were reading Good Night Moon. She decided two weeks ago that she wanted to read Catcher in the Rye. Not sure why, but I told her that if we read it concurrently and talked about it then yes, by all means give it a try. So she asked for it at the school library (she's in grade 6). The librarian searched for it on the computer and didn't find it. She was, as it happens, searching for "Catch Her in the Eye". What kind of book would that be? An aid to violence in relationships? M. clarified the title and was told that The Catcher in the Rye is "VERY Unsuitable", and of course the school wouldn't have a copy. And she shouldn't be reading that until college anyway. College? Why not just say until she's 30, or 40. Anyway, the local library had it, so we started it last night. Should be an interesting literary journey for us!

How'd that Happen?

I was reading a friend's blog today, and discovered we share a common childhood favoured cartoon - Hercules. The thing is, as I was reading it, I thought about the theme song, (which I thought outlined the basic requirements for a husband) and realized that I knew the whole thing. How did that come about? I haven't heard it since I was a kid, and yet there was the song, word for word. Stupid unruly brain.

I Most Certainly Have Not!

Yesterday when I got home from treading I started to make supper, and was met with the following from my son: “Mom, you’ve done three ways before, how do I go about setting one up?” As I stood there, mouth agape thinking… well, let’s leave it at thinking, he – puzzlement on his face – said “mom? I’m on the phone with D. How do we make it so that we can both talk to A about going to the Matrix tonight?” Oh. Oh yeah. Calling. Three way calling. It’s in the phone book. Right.

The three of them went to the Matrix after supper and I picked them up when they were done. The night was capped off for me when, driving home, one of them said “A., your mom is such a guy”. Sigh. At least I know that it was meant as a compliment. Hope he improves his observational abilities when he starts dating!

I'm electric.

I was superwoman on Sunday. I had to give the outfit back, of course, but much was accomplished in a short time. Today is interesting too – I have WAY too much energy. I could re-roof the house, pave the driveway and dig a moat for the house. Before lunch! Not sure where it comes from – spring time and I’m happy? Would that be enough to give me scary amounts of fizzy energy?