Yes, I will get back to my vacation but first a question that has been troubling me since I was in the washroom a few minutes ago. Why would someone go to a public washroom, wash their hands, pee and then leave? I mean doesn't the handwashing bit go last?
And I need to come up with a believable reason for the bump on my head. Why? Because the actual reason is well...I was going to say weird but perhaps not for me. I was in line at the drugstore when the would-be juggler in line behind me beaned me with a bottle of shampoo. Why? Because he was only a would-be juggler. If he'd been any good I'm sure those three bottles would have stayed in the air and not beaned anyone or knocked anything over. But he wasn't, and they didn't and I was beaned and things got knocked.
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A comedian I saw once had a bit about that in his act, but really it only applies to men...why a woman would do it is beyond me.
But on to why a man, and I don't mean me, would do things in that order. Assuming the person has good hygeine, his uhhh, dangly bits have been tucked inside a clean pair of underwear inside a clean pair of pants since he had his morning shower, whereas his hands have touched every door knob, keyboard, other peoples hands, phones, etc...who'd want to touch their private bits with such filthy hands? Now, as I understand the process, women don't do a lot of touching of their bits and pieces while using the bathroom, so the only reason for such behavior is insanity.
Jugglers at the drug store? Only you, could be injured by a drug store juggler.
That reminds me of those little guys in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader that washed their dishes before they ate, and then left them dirty until they needed them again. It makes sense in that context (whatever, I'm a grad student. That's how I roll) but not so much in the washing hands and then peeing sense.
Ew.
Easy explanation for the bump on the head.
You were trying to help an elderly lady across the road. She took offense that you were trying to help her, because, in her 90s, she thinks she's still as spry as you are. So she beaned you with her cane.
Does that make sense? (Didn't think so.) But if you try to tell the "drug store juggler" story, nobody is going to believe you! Not even your dad (though Tanya might).
Footnote. Bobik and/or Volk might believe your "juggler" story, but you'd have to explain it to them in Russian or Ukrainian. Are you up to the task?
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