I should move somewhere that has closed circuit TV everywhere. Because I want to be able to play for everyone the weird stuff that happens to me. Sometimes because it is hard to believe and sometimes because it's just so funny that I myself want the pleasure of reminding myself of just how crazy people are. The latest thing? Here we go:
I am not changing the grammar, by the way. Written as spoken.
Scene: parking lot at Sobey's.
Action: guy pulling out of parking space just about hits me as I walk by. And feels that HE has to yell at ME for this. But he was, clearly, crazy:
Him: Jesus Christ lady watch where you're going.
Me: I'm a pedestrian (for some reason this seemed important to state).
Him: Handicapped people always the right of way. You should have been watching.
Me: Pedestrians have the right of way, I'm pretty sure. I think. (should never have admitted uncertainty).
Him: But I'm in a handicapped space. Handicapped. What if my handicap was because I'm blind?
Me: Blind? But-
Him: Blind, so I couldn't see you. And hitting you would be your fault.
Me: Hmmm. Blind people. Driving Cars. Really.
Him: (pause. LONG pause) Well...fuck you.
And then he drives off. Still, I'm guessing, mad at me.
I love the typical come back. Not up to witty reposte? Sudden realization that you're an idiot? Totally lost your mind? Then swear. Because that so makes your argument look reasonable.
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4 comments:
Wow - crazy and stupid. What a delightful mix!
By the way, I am quite enjoying your blog - I happened upon it by way of Jason Doan's photo blog. And no mention of Mrs. Smith anywhere...hehehe.
Ah Mrs. Smith...good to see you taking time away from assasination work!
Your comeback for his parting shot could have been, "You are not up to it, you're in a handicapped zone".
It's not as insane as it sounds...My grandpa renewed his driver's license for years after he was declared legally blind. He didn't drive, but he had a valid license.
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