Oooo I hate having man trouble. Wait, that is sexist. Home repair trouble. Where do people learn stuff about fixing up homes? Their parents? Environment? Or, as I tend to do, find a book in a library? Why do the guys I know just KNOW this stuff?
All I want to do is buy a screen door for the front door. How hard can this be? Well the first thing I find out is that doors aren’t a standard size. Why not? They should be, like stairs inside there should be one standard size. So fine, there isn’t a standard size, I guess I’ll have to measure something. The inside of the door? The size of the door we have? Inside the frame, or outside? I had a storm door before and obviously made a poor choice then. Oh, it worked all right, it just opened in a direction that everyone and his brother decided to tell me was the wrong way. Lord save me from a life so narrow the way a door opens is of paramount importance.
No, I’m not asking for help. But I’m frustrated, so I’m temporarily giving up. Think I’ll turn my hair blue instead. Which seems to be par for the course for me: get frustrated, change the hair. I thought I’d try blue since it is all getting cut off soon anyway.
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For what it's worth, I'm a man and I'm completely useless when it comes to home repairs. Need your home entertainment unit set up or some work done on your computer? I'm the guy. Need a toilet installed? Call a plumber. I just can't wrap my head around some of this crap that high school drop outs charge me $30/hr for, go figure.
When I moved into my apartment, me and 2 friends couldn't figure out how to get my couch to fit through the door. We had about 15 years of post secondary education between us and tried for about half an hour to no avail. Two guys in overalls showed up to deliver a dining room set I bought and took all of about 30 seconds to get the couch through the door, just sat there scratching my head for an hour or so after that.
I can do plumbing...I'd like to learn carpentry but no one seems anxious to let me get my hands on a saw...electrical work I not only avoid, I try to be as far away as possible when someone else does it.
On a separate note, have you read Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency? The couch scene is brilliant.
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