Morning in la-la land.

I am generally a morning person. Awake, cheerful, happy. I would have thought that I wouldn't be snarky in the morning but apparently with my brain fully functioning I can't resist responding to crazy people. Normally I'd just keep my thoughts in my head, and normally they're not terribly clever. But today...well today the blondes struck again.

I don't normally talk in the bathroom. Icks me out. Let me do what on normally does and keep your chit chat to yourself. But clearly not everyone feels this way. Also, people have different ideas of what is normal in a bathroom. The woman from the floor above (who must believe that the stall is a cone of silence) has torrid cell phone conversations in the bathroom. And the curly hair pretty woman goes in to check the mirror (because there is a break between looking in the reflective window and entering the building during which a hair might have moved) often. Very very often indeed. Anyway:

There I am, minding my own business when the smoking blondes* arrive. They are talking about movies. No problem. And the fact that there aren't healthy snack choices at theatres. Understoon. I recently learned that one basic thing of nachos and cheese is the fat swallowing equivalent of three quarter pounders with cheese. THREE! And those puppies aren't low on the list of incredibly bad fast foods that will kill you. So I get it. But:

Blonde #1 (hereafter known as B1)
What they need is to have like whole wheat popcorn.
Blonde #2 (B2. Duh)
That would be....like...it would be...
Me: Corn. That would be corn.
B2: What?
Me: whole wheat comes from wheat. Pop corn is corn.
B1: so they should make whole wheat popcorn.
Me: Except that corn is corn and wheat is wheat. So to get whole wheat popcorn you'd have to have popcorn in a sandwich made with wholeweat bread.
B1: All I'm saying is that they should make popcorn from corn that doesn't have all the bran taken away.
Me: Yeah....I guess you could just work out how to do that and make a million inventing whole wheat corn.
B1: Huh.


I left. Washed my hands, shook my head and left. Because really, does it make a difference? Will her life be any better - or for that matter, any worse - if she doesn't understand basic grains?

*as in cigarette smoking.