He's off sick today.

So there I am on the desk - or to be exact, at the desk - when the phone rings. Given that I'm being paid to do a number of things including answering the phone if it rings, I dutifully pick it up:

Government Department X, Jane Doe speaking.
Uh, hi. I'm looking for death.


So many things I wanted to say, not one of them appropriate. I'm counting it as a big plus that I didn't even laugh, let alone offer a snippet of witty reparte. This time.