I miss the elevator

We don't have an office on the third floor anymore, so no more belly dance practicing elevator rides. And I'm kinda missing it. I do sometimes work on a Turkish shimmy when I'm walking if there isn't anyone around but it's not the same. And there is nowhere - people around or not - nowhere to practice chest popping.

Pretty as a Picture

I put winter clothes away and brought summer clothes out over Easter. And for the first time in years, instead of having to keep on box of summer things away because everything was too small, I've been able to fit the dresses as well as filling the box with winter things that are too big that I will be giving away. Woot!

So here I am, at work on Boobquake day wearing a lovely pink and black dress. I know it's pretty, that is. No one else does because I've had to bury myself in the spare sweater I keep at work. Big warm and bulky, which is good. It is FREEZING in here. I guess I put the winter clothes away a little too soon. Spring on the prairies - always a surprise.

When sleep deserts you

There are some good things about not being able to fall asleep. Not, unfortunately, if falling asleep is a real problem but if it is a rare occurrence then some good can come of it.

First, if you run a bath at four in the morning, NO ONE bothers you. There are no requests for car borrowing, money loaning, permission granting, cheque signing, snack finding, cookie making. You can have a full hour of sheer bliss.

Also, if breakfast is your favourite meal to make (as it is for me), you can make crêpe batter at five and let it sit for a full hour before cooking them up. And then you can do things like…

Take a handful of brown sugar, and liquefy it. Carefully! Then pour in whipping cream. Being careful not to be burnt by spitting sugar, naturally. Then you whisk it to creamy smoothness, add apple chunks, some cinnamon and a pinch of sea salt. Yes, you read that correctly. Caramel + salt are a lovely combination. In time, once things have simmered for a while you can cook your crêpes, fill them with cinnamon toffee apples, fold them up, drizzle some syrup on top and maybe some whipped cream and then a few maple flakes and then – well, then you stop. Because it’s just breakfast, not some competition.

Have to say waking people up with a hot breakfast already made is more effective than a bucket of cold water. The best, though, is baking something like cinnamon buns. Then people actually walk out of their bedrooms of their own accord, like hungry zombies looking for buns, not brains.

I’m a bit worried about supper. I figure if I stay awake that long the best I’ll be able to come up with is the suggestion that perhaps we should all fast. NOT a good choice with one of the “we” is a teenage boy!

More than Words

I’m on my second Victoria Clayton book. I’ve decided to make a list of all the words I’ve had to look up, so I can post it whenever I’ve finished with the spate of Clayton reading.

I’ll probably find that instead of reading too much I don’t’ read anywhere near enough. Every time I’ve come across a new word the head voice (the one that is always quick to remind you that you’re not pretty enough, smart enough, kind enough, rich enough, skinny enough….it’s an endless list, almost) says “Betcha Ky knows that word. Allison probably does too. You’re an idiot”.

Some of the words I’ll never be able to use (kibe), but at least I’ll know what they mean! You know what I would like though? I’d like jargon from the 20’s to make a come back. I’m dying to call some guy a cuddle cootie.

No sugar tonight in my coffee

No sugar tonight in my tea. Or tomorrow, or the day after or the day after that. I've become so used to eating a healthy balanced diet- 12 weeks as of the 12th of April! - that I need a new challenge. I went an entire year with sugarless tea. I didn't enjoy it as much as sweetened tea, but when I went back to sugar in my tea I used a lot less, so it was a good plan.

Now, however, there is a lot less sugar in my diet overall so I don't think it will be as difficult an adjustment as it was the first time. We'll see in a few weeks: today is my first day of unsweetened tea. And if you were going to suggest artificial sweetener that's ok, I've already tried them all.I can always taste the chemical aftertaste with them. Better to have nothing than a cup of bitter metal tasting ickyness.

New music on the Box

Seems my most recent new discoveries music-wise (say for the last couple of years) have been either things that The Boy has added to my ipod (like Prodigy) or stuff from shows like Bones. The latter means a lot of weepy songs.

I'm including three. I've never looked at the video for the first, because I don't want to know what the guy looks like. His voice is so awesomely grief laden that I don't want it ruined by some cheerful chubby faced singing teenager. Because you never know what you'll find behind the voice these days. Anyway, the song (and the band, because I love their stuff in general) is She Just Wept.

I also really like I Hurt Too by Katie Herzog. And yes, I cried during this episode. Many times. I'm a baby.

One more? Why not. So, also from Bones, You by Fisher.

Say What?

I like a book that isn’t written for grade eighters. I really hate classes on writing that insist that this is the level you should write for. Surely if we always aim for a grade eight audience eventually we’ll find that there are those that find it too lofty and we’ll have to aim for grade seven? And then six? At some point people who can read will be the elite minority. I digress. Sorry.

So yes, when an author has a word that I don’t know I am quite pleased. I look it up so I have a new word and I continue on with reading. The author I am currently reading (Victoria Clayton) is turning out to be quite the wordsmith. I’ve come across three unfamiliar words so far. It is far more usual to find three words in every hundred books read, so three in the first hundred pages of a single book is amazing. I think I’ll keep a paper in the back of the book to write things down as by the time I’d found a dictionary I’d forgotten the first word I wanted to check. The second word was tumid (in the context of the story, the first definition in the OED, "swollen". Also means bombastic). The third word, the one that made me stop right then and there to search for a definition was this: deliquescent.

Now maybe you know what this means. Kudos to you, that’s pretty good. Maybe I should learn Latin, to help with etymology. Anyway, I had to look it up. Not that the dictionary gave me an answer that solved it for me. Their definition was:
1.
the act or process of deliquescing.
2.
the substance produced when something deliquesces.

Ah, I see. Totally clear now. Sigh. Back to OED online. So, what does deliquesce mean?

–verb (used without object),-quesced, -quesc•ing.
1.
to become liquid by absorbing moisture from the air, as certain salts.
2.
to melt away.
3.
Botany. to form many small divisions or branches.

Does this count as continuing education?

Things your mother should tell you.

You know how y'all get on my case about the...ummm... overspending on things that no one but I ever end up seeing? Well, let me tell you, I'm glad I did. Do. Whatever.

Because whilst your mother probably told you to always wear clean underwear in case you are in a car accident (apparently EMS people and trauma nurses are more uptight about clean undies than blood, gore and various bits of dismembered limbs), you know what else you should have been told?

Wear pretty underpinnings just in case, on a day when you're wearing shoes that really you shouldn't be wearing, you trip and fall landing in an ungainly heap with a torn dress. Because that would be a terrible time to be wearing ancient gray baggy underwear.

There, now you know.

et tu pain perdu

I haven't had a McDonald's hamburger in over ten years. Or any other fast food hamburger for that matter. Why? Because they grill their burgers on the same grill they fry bacon. It isn't enough to send me to hospital with a reaction the the nitrites, but it is enough to make me very sick indeed, so no more burgers out. Same goes for eggs. If I have eggs in a restaurant (and I love an eggy breakfast) then I choose poached eggs.

The poached egg decision really started when I DID have to go to the Hospital after having egg and toast at a local breakfast place. Turned out that at the time they fried their eggs in bacon fat. Why? Because it was there, and it was cheap. I don't know if they still do but it doesn't matter, eggs fried on the same grill as bacon may not kill me, but they will certainly make me sick.

You'd think I would have worked out the grill thing, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong. I went out for supper last night, and had French toast. That in itself is odd. I normally don't pay for something in a restaurant that I make easily and well at home. Nevertheless, that's what I did. And of course....they fry their French Toast (or pain perdu as we call it) on the same grill that they cook their bacon.

Sigh. So what lessons did I learn last night? a) anything that is grilled or fried in a restaurant is likely to have some contact with bacon, at least anything breakfast-y is, b) French toast is better going down than coming up and c) fair skinned people look terrible and blotchy when they've been sick. Really really terrible, and really really blotchy.

Immature mind. In the literal sense.

Through a rather convoluted route I ended up re-reading Day of the Triffids. If you’re involved in Agriculture and/or international trade this won’t seem an odd choice. To everyone else it may be. Anyway, I re-read it.

When did I first read it? Grade four. Or maybe grade five. I’m trying to remember which teacher said she thought it was inappropriate. One of those years, at any rate. And don’t worry, not all of my reading was like that. I had shelves full of Nancy Drew, The Happy Hollisters, The Hardy Boys and Cherry Ames too. I may have been a reading nut, but I was a well-balanced nut!

What I’ve come to realize with reading it this time around is that it is a completely different book than it was the first time. Oh, sure, the words are all the same. But reading it then, it was just a story. The deeper points went sailing over my wee little head. It was like reading a completely different book this time.

And now I’m wondering about the rest of the John Wyndham books. Maybe I should read them again too? And various other authors who no doubt were doing more than just telling a story, although I won’t go so far as to agree with those who see deep political importance in The Hobbit. Lord of the Rings trilogy yes, The Hobbit, no. But I could be wrong about that. I was wrong about Triffids, after all!

The Alter Ego

I find it vastly amusing when a movie or tv program that I am watching has a character with the same name as someone I am friends with. Not so enjoyable if the name is something like John or Mary, but when it's an unusual-ish name like Ky, then it is AWESOME.

This happened just last night, so I'm still having a good time with it. We were watching NCIS, and the bad guy - or woman, as it happened - was called Kai. Different spelling but the point is we spent an hour hearing about what an incredibly brilliant assasin Ky was. A genious. Unstopabble. And who's to say they're wrong? Maybe our Ky IS a brilliant assasin. Could happen!

How to Shop Less on Vacation

I am back from my extended BC vacation. And even though I was there longer, I spent less money. How is this possible? The trick is to be busy. The kind of busy you might be if you were helping a sister and brother-in-law with two month old twins. Yes, that kind of busy.

Not that I returned with out spending anything. Duh. A couple of things for friends and babies, some hard to find ingredients, bacon and ham (and score, Chorizo!) without nitrites/nitrates and some dark maple syrup and I was done. Oh, and a pair of sandals.

*Before I get blasted again for spending money on things no one sees, it's better than having the more common shoe weakness, isn't it? Less expensive, at any rate!

Never never never.

You know what you should never ask someone? Not even if:

You've been searching for a particular ingredient.

You've been thinking about this ingredient to the point where you've forgotten the words have other meanings.

You're frustrated after searching more than half a dozen stores for said ingredient.

The thing you should never ask is "where do you go when you're looking for good sized breasts?"

Unless, of course, you do want to know that. All I want to know is where I can buy CHICKEN breasts of a decent size, in order to make a stuffed chicken recipe that I've been wanting to do for ages but had to wait until I had ham from BC. The breasts - sorry, chicken breasts - at the local grocery stores have so far been flat and unsuitable for stuffing.

Math 101

So here I am at my last day of work prior to a very long vacation. Very long for me, that is. Perhaps y'all take months off at a time, jaunting around the globe.


As was to be expected, despite having cleared up my list of things I wanted to get done before I left, I arrived at work to find a list of five things someone wants me to complete before I leave. The heading for the email?
"One last thing to do before you leave". Apparently five is the new one.

Zut Alors, it iz 'ere!

So, my parcel from Victoria's Secret arrived today. Dress is gorgeous. They described the colour as blackberry and I'm telling you that is exactly what it is. I've picked many a wild blackberry and I know what I'm talking about.

The two t-shirts are very...Victoria-y. Not in this sense. In this one.

No, not EXACTLY like that. It's just...well, I thought I was getting a regular person t-shirt. Nice summer wear. But the v neck of the thing. Sweet Saskatchewan Pineapple that thing dips. It's like they knew...EXACTLY...where my underpinnings ended. And the material clings like fuzz on a peach. Except over the tummy part which I didn't expect but was happy to see. It's not Empire, all loose and flowing, but it's not every-dimple-and-roll-showing tight either.

So I don't have two simple summer wear shirts, same style two colours. What I have are two very V.S. type tops with a curtained stage for the girls to be front and centre. Not that they're ever back and off side - although I've worked in nursing homes I'm sure that particular joy still aways me - it's just that there will be less looking at my face when I wear them that there might have been. Whether they'll ever get worn, outside, where other people can see...well, that may never happen. Ever.

Pretty in Pink

Most of the time having little feet is a problem. Not an unsurmountable problem but a problem nevertheless.

For instance, if I want to buy some grown-up dress shoes, I end up spending lots of money and/or time. For the most part I just have to buy them a little big and then buy inserts. ‘Course, if I ever want patent leather Mary Janes I’d have it made in the shade.

Sometimes, though, I like buying kid stuff. F’rinstance: I wanted to get some comfortable billy boots for a trip to BC. The store I went to had some really cute daisy ones in the grown up section. Cute, but waaaay too big, even with inserts. So I went to the little girls section. Found some boots that were loose at size four but perfect at size three. And they’re pink! With polka dots! And I didn’t pay tax on them. Why not? Because they didn’t ask who they were for, that’s why. If they ask, I say yes, they’re for me, and I pay the tax. They don’t ask, I don’t tell. This balances out the fact that I’ve been paying tax on footwear for The Girl since she was ten or so. Seriously, her feet are huge. Or maybe mine are just stupidly small.

The Why of it all.

I'm not going to tell you everything I got from V.S., but I can tell you why I got one of the things. The thing is, I bought a pair of boots. The type - or height - I've been looking for for decades. Oh sure, they're easy to find, just not easy to afford. But find some I did, my size, good price. So I bought them. And really, don't you think they need an outfit of their own? Don't they?

Not that much of a secret

So, I'll be single on Valentine's day. No biggie, really. But the normal temptation to deal with any potential whinging would be reading a book and scarfing chocolate fudge. Which sounds nice - great, even - but eating sweets right now would not be good. Not good at any time, I guess, but why ruin a healthy-eating streak now?

I've decided to deal with Valentines in advance. How? Buying something lingerie-like. "No surprise there", you think to yourselves. "She does that all the time". Well, yes, but you know what I've never done? Ordered something from Victoria's Secret. I can no longer say that, because I did. Just now. Thank you online shopping!

Thin Ice, Big Puppy, Thin Ice

Remember this?

I left for work one morning last week, and was very careful making sure there wasn't anything the puppies could eat. Not easy, because that means not only no garbage left behind, but nothing that resembles food. Doesn't have to actually BE food for Big Puppy to give it a try just in case.

Went off to work secure in the mistaken belief that all would be well when I got home. Oh the wrongness of it all.

When I reached the kitchen it was to discover that the floor was a sticky mess. Why? Because Big Puppy had been into the cupboard with the three level lazy susan. It's where I keep spices and various other things.

The cupboard door was open. Jars of various sizes were all over the floor, some open and spillied some still tightly closed. The cupboard was a mess of knocked over jars as well. And why did B.P. go to all the effort of opening the door and twirling the lazy susan around? Apparently so she could eat most of the bag of dark brown sugar, and pretty much all of the balck decorative sugar. That night and the next day she was as subdued as she's ever been. Stupid dog.

Turns out The Girl was right about the black sugar being deep dark green instead of black. How do I know this? Because I'm the one that walks the puppies and consequently does the scooping when there's pooping. Be thankful I didn't take pictures because I'd be posting them if I had.

I Can Sing A Rainbow

I have an idea for a new cookie recipe. For which I needed dried strawberries. Not freeze dried, just dried, like cranberries and cherries. I also needed durum semolina flour. I can buy it in a giant bag at one place, or a more reasonable amount at the same place that has strawberries. That place would be Bulk Barn (Thanks, J.D.!). I needed the semolina for this weekend, so I went yesterday. With a shopping list of two things: berries, flour. Easy, yes?

Well. I spent just over $70.00 (curse you J.D.!). I got the berries, and lots of semolina. I also got the yummy bones the dogs like (they claim they’re yummy, I don’t have any personal experience), really really dark brown sugar, white chocolate couverture, pecan meal, pecans, natural sliced almonds, Turkish Delight for The Boy, yeast, pepitas, parchment paper which, I should tell you, they sell for more than $2.00 less per roll than anywhere else I’ve purchased it, and instant sugar.

Most of this is stuff I need for various baking orders. I only went off track a little, really. Ok, maybe I didn’t need the bright pink decorative sugar crystals. Or the black ones (which are in reality a very dark green) but seriously…pink sugar! And black decorative sugar, how awesome is that? I think I showed a great deal of restraint in not buying decorative sugar in orange, sky blue, deep purple and lemon yellow. They had other colours, too, I think. Red, maybe? I don’t remember I was overwhelmed as it was with hot pink and greeny-black.

So over all I am glad that J.D. told me about Bulk Barn. Not just because they have good prices but because they have a lot of unusual dried fruits/flours/sugars/pulses. It’s up in the north end of the city, but worth checking out if you bake. Or snack – their selection of gummi things and salty things and sugary things was extensive. They’re just verboten, so I don’t look too closely at what they have.

I’ll let you know if the cookie idea was a good one or a terrible one. I may even be looking for tasters!